Post- Traumatic Stress Research

Post-traumatic stress- research

Describes the symptoms and basic information about what Post traumatic stress is and the effects etc.-

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGWSSUNXn4A

 An ex- Afghanistan soldier describes his experiences and how he now copes with PTSD- explain how he feels. Mentions guilt (survivor guilt). Although the majority of this interview is based on war, it’s interesting to understand and see the links between war trauma and PTSD – we can take this information to link Hero’s suicide with Claudio’s PTSD.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBHXWBJKs8c

 

Research into survivor guilt

 Survivor Guilt: What Long-term Survivors Don’t Talk About

While survivor guilt is not experienced by everyone, and may vary a great deal in intensity, it appears to be a common experience. The following article answers some questions survivors may have after experiencing a tragedy.

 What is survivor guilt?

Survivor guilt has been described in Holocaust survivors, war veterans, rescue workers, transplant recipients and relatives spared from hereditary illness. Relatively little discussion of survivor guilt has taken place among long-term survivors of acute and chronic illnesses.

Survivor guilt, when it occurs, derives from situations where persons have been involved in a life-threatening event and lived to tell about it. It is often experienced after traumatic incidents causing multiple deaths. In the special case of chronic illness, survivor guilt can occur after the deaths of peers who faced the same diagnosis. By definition, there is an implied comparison with people who have endured similar ordeals.

 Who experiences survivor guilt?

Anyone who survives can experience these feelings including patients, families and healthcare providers. Survivor guilt explores the other side of the coin of why me? Namely, why not me? Why did I survive when others did not? Those who struggle with it may express the feeling of being an impostor: somehow the "wrong" person survived; it "just doesn't seem right." Many feel that beating the odds makes little sense unless the survivor earned or deserved it in some way. But some survivors emphasize they don't feel especially deserving. To complicate feelings of unworthiness, in the early stages of grief there is a tendency to idealize the deceased, so the survivor may feel even less deserving by comparison.

 Why does survivor guilt occur?

Survivor guilt may be reinforced by the frequent use of statistical profiles to predict as well as to describe illnesses. However, people given the very same odds for survival do not necessarily have similar outcomes. When only one survives, it is not unusual to conclude that two persons facing the same threat somehow changed places; that one person's healing occurred at the expense of another; or that there is a debt owed to those who are gone. Some survivors may keep a low profile to avoid spotlighting this contrast of outcomes.

 Does survivor guilt have a function or purpose?

Survivor guilt may exist for a reason. It can help people find meaning and make sense out of their experiences. It may help survivors cope with the helplessness and powerlessness of being in a life-threatening situation without the ability to protect or save others. It can also be one way to express a connection to those who have died, a way, for a time, of keeping them alive. Importantly, survivor guilt can co-exist with other responses, such as relief and gratitude, and may occasionally be prompted by them.

 What can I do if I experience survivor guilt?

Acknowledge and accept that guilt exists. Feelings of guilt are quite common and represent part of the healing process for persons coping with loss.

 When people feel guilty, they tend to isolate themselves. While tempted to keep silent, try to discuss the experience with persons who will not express judgment.

Logic may have little or no impact on guilt, but it is important to do some reality testing with your beliefs. Remind yourself that you are human.

When you find you are comparing yourself with others, try instead to evaluate your situation on its own merits.

Some people try to "work off" their guilt by setting high standards of achievement. This is a very compelling strategy, but it rarely eases feelings of unworthiness.

It may help to find additional ways to keep the memory alive for those who have died by creating a special memory book or holding a service.

Remind yourself that you are struggling to make sense of one of the greatest mysteries of the human race. Rather than explaining it away, try to embrace the mystery.

 

 

Brain research and ideas

Researching into the brain – Considering the ‘Hotel di Colpa’ is in Claudio’s mind, I thought we could set out the hotel so that each room represents or explores a different section of his brain e.g. the section that is for memory- we could show Claudio having flashbacks of his relationship with Hero. I have researched into the functions of each part and given suggestions of how we could use these in relation to the plot/storyline we have already devised.

‘Injury’ could also mean mental illness- not just physical.  

Frontal lobes

Located behind the forehead, the frontal lobes are the largest lobes of the brain. These two lobes are involved in:

• Planning
•  Organising
•  Problem solving
•   Memory
•  Impulse control
• Decision making
• Selective attention
•     Controlling behaviour and emotions

Injury may effect-

•    Emotions
•  Impulse control
•  Language
•   Memory
• Social and sexual behaviour

‘Social behaviour’- the hotel guests could pick up on Claudio’s strange social behaviour (maybe during the canteen scene) - commenting on the fact that he’s constantly carrying around a handbag, seems antisocial, isolated, secluded/unfriendly.

Temporal lobes

Located on the sides of the brain under the parietal lobes and behind the frontal lobes. They are responsible for:

•  Recognising and processing sound
•  Understanding and producing speech
• Various aspects of memory

Injury may affect:

• Hearing 
• listening
•    The ability to recognise a familiar persons face
•      Processing sensory information

If we were to follow through with the idea mentioned above, Claudio’s behaviour in this room could present a ‘panic’. He as a breakdown- doesn’t recognise anyone, can’t hear what people are saying (language becomes blurred) and he is completely confused- has no sense of time or setting. To show this we could use what we learnt in ‘The Visit’ with the train scene. Here Ill has a mental breakdown believing that all the villagers are crowding him yet they are all spaced out apart from him- repeating everything he says.

Parietal Lobes-

Located behind the frontal lobes.  They are responsible for:

•    Integrate sensory information from various parts of the body
•     Contain the primary sensory cortex which controls sensation (touch, hot or cold, pain)
•  Tell us which way is up
•    Help to keep us from bumping into things when we walk

Here we could use the idea of ‘pain’ to show Claudio reliving a memory of Hero or use this as a flashback showing how much he loved Hero and how hurt she is now that she’s gone *see post about peoples reaction and affects to others suicide*. We could use feelings and emotions described here to create this scene.

Cerebellum-

Located at the back of the brain, the cerebellum controls:

·         Balance

·         Movement

·         Coordination

·         Ability to stand upright

Injury may affect

·         Movement

·         Muscle tone

·         Gait

This section could be represented through the death – suicide of Claudio. Alternatively we could take the idea of balance (twisting its meaning) to portray an unhealthy emotional balance between grief and guilt.

Occipital lobe

Located at the back of the head

·         Receive and process visual information

·         Contains areas that help in perceiving shapes and colours

Injuries-

·         Distortion of visual field

·         Perception of size colour and shape

Taking ‘distortion of visual field’ this could apply to the bed scene where Hero appears- she could be a hallucination rather than a ghost (not really there).

Hippocampus

The hippocampus is located in the medial temporal lobe. Responsible for:

·         Memory creation and retention

·         Help us create new memories

·         Helps us orientate ourselves in our surroundings

·         Facilitates our ability to navigate and find our ways around the world

Injury-

·         New memory creation

·         New memory retention

·         Mood

·         Confusion

·         Disorientation

Perhaps ‘Hotel di Colpa’ is situated in Claudio’s hippocampus- he is creating this hotel and each section of his brain has an effect/alteration on his perceptions. The hippocampus is central in the brain- therefore Claudio’s guilt and pain, at losing Hero to suicide, is central to his thoughts and feelings. This then acts as the driving force/motivation towards his suicide.

Hypothalamus-

Located below the thalamus and above the brain stem.

• Helps us regulate body temperature
•  helps us realize when we are hungry or thirsty
•  plays a role in what mood we might be feeling
•  releases and controls many hormones that we need to function

Injury

• Sex drive
• sleep
•   hunger
•   thirst
• emotions

This could be presented during the bed scene ‘sex drive’ or we could also set a scene during night when all the other guests are asleep. Perhaps this could be a scene with Maggie and Margaret where Claudio goes to see them about Hero because she won’t get out of his mind or appears physically whenever he tries to sleep.

Amygdala

Located near the hippocampus in the frontal portion of the temporal lobes

•  Involved in the formation and storage of information related to emotional events
• Facilitate long term memory formation
•   Convert and retain learning from pleasure responses
• Help us recognize when we are in danger or fearful of something

Injury

•  Memory formation
•  Emotional sensitivity
•  Learning and retention
•   Depression
• Anxiety

Particularly during the build up to Claudio’s suicide- we begin to see clear signs of increased anxiety, depression, sensitivity and constant flashbacks where Hero is seen to be encouraging Claudio’s guilt.

Split Personality Disorder research

I've been researching into Split personality disorder. There is a documentary on youtube which follows the life of a 38 year old woman, Helen, who has seven different alter egos that she switches into. Once she has switched into a character and then switched back as herself (Helen) she has no idea what has just happened to her or what she did -yet she can hear all seven of their voices in her head. This disorder is a result of sever abuse as a child- sexual, emotional and mental.  The characters are created as a coping method and portray different parts of her. For example she mainly switches to young characters (ages 10, 6, 5) as she was deprived of a childhood.

After watching this documentary, I don’t feel this condition is suitable for Hero as:

•  She hasn't suffered any extreme abuse (if so, we would have to fit this in as a subplot)
•  We wanted to show two sides to her personality e.g. loving, sweet and innocent… in contrast to angry and manipulative. Split personality disorder is where people become completely different characters/personas and these aren’t necessarily negative e.g. Helen could switch from being herself to a 10 year old boy!

Links:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TlYGivBGYE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQYyZxN2Q0I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__5h1e5CT6U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59lqklD1BU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9oO0hzqNF0

Pitch

We have now assigned individual roles for the pitch- i will be talking about Trusts+Foundations and also Target audience/ theater style

speech:

The money we are aiming to receive from trusts and foundations is £7000. In order to ensure that this target is achieved, we have researched and specifically chosen the trusts whose criteria match our company’s aims and objectives; Provide performance entertainment, beneficial towards education and the community, raise awareness of mental health.

Alongside any application forms and letters that are required, we have designed a leaflet which provides further information about our company, our experience and aims towards this project.

The information provided in the leaflet has been developed and written in response to the each trusts criteria- this is to ensure that we are eligible and have an equal opportunity at being considered as applicants.

Although we are only aiming to raise £7000, we have selected ten different trust to apply to (as shown in the table) - this is on the assumption that we won’t get £1000 from each or if we are turned down by a charity for any particular reason.

  

Theater style/target audience-

The production revolves around the idea of the effects the character Claudio experiences when his fiance Hero commits suicide. Through the use of Promenade theater, the audience is guided through Claudio’s Hotel di Colpa ‘Hotel of Guilt’ which is a metaphor for the thoughts, feelings and memories inside Claudio’s head. We use the style of surrealism to represent and present how each of the topics have their different effects.

Developing the idea of promenade theater the audience will be guided into different rooms, each signifying a different aspect or part of Claudio’s memories/ and feelings. Here the plot is unraveled, as we journey deeper into Claudio’s mind- subsequently increasing the surrealistic theme. To further engage the audience within the piece, we will be using immersive theater – the audience can become physically involved with the action and there will be moments where Claudio and the other characters can interact e.g. treating the audience like guests in the hotel, commenting on food and their accommodation.

(Canteen scene- discussion around the tables)

Our target audience for this production will be young adults and teenagers as we don’t think some of the content e.g. the suicide will be appropriate for younger audiences. Particularly when touring to schools, we will devise a short workshops based on the topics explored within the piece- Mental health. The students will be able to reflect or question any of these topics and gain a deeper understanding of how to relate to someone suffering similar symptoms.

Alongside schools, our main target group for this performance is middle aged men – ‘ in 1981 4,129 men in the UK took their own lives. Three decades later, despite improvement in psychiatric and emergency care medicine, a range of suicide prevention barriers and policies, and, arguably, some degree of social, political and personal empowerment, the number in 2012 had risen to 4,590

Not only has this piece developed around the theme of mental health, but we are specifically focusing on one element, suicide. Before researching, we were all unaware of the extent to this problem, and it is this discovery of awareness that we hope to convey throughout our performance, provoking a positive response to change. 

Table of trusts that we will be applying to:

Trust/foundation name	Charitable objectives	Area	Classification	Estimated donation (based on previous figures)
1151815 -  AKO FOUNDATION	Charitable objectives-  THE OBJECTS OF THE CHARITY ARE: (A) THE ADVANCEMENT OF EDUCATION;  (B) THE ADVANCEMENT OF THE ARTS, CULTURE, HERITAGE AND SCIENCE; AND (C) ALL OTHER CHARITABLE PURPOSES FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PUBLIC. CHARITABLE PURPOSE HAS THE MEANING PRESCRIBED BY THE CHARITIES ACT.	Throughout England	Classification - What • GENERAL CHARITABLE PURPOSES • EDUCATION / TRAINING • ARTS / CULTURE / HERITAGE / SCIENCE Who • OTHER CHARITIES OR VOLUNTARY BODIES • THE GENERAL PUBLIC / MANKIND How • MAKES GRANTS TO ORGANISATIONS	Not available
1129022 -  ATG FOUNDATION	TO ADVANCE THE ART OF THEATRE, DRAMA AND PUBLIC PERFORMANCE IN LONDON AND ELSEWHERE.	Throughout England		During the year 2012 £16,494 was donated to various charities
1074583 - CAPE UK	CAPEUK IS AN INDEPENDENT NOT FOR PROFIT ORGANISATION COMMITTED TO IMPROVING THE LIVES OF CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE PREPARING THEM TO FACE THE FUTURE WITH CREATIVITY AND SELF-BELIEF. WE WORK WITH SCHOOLS, YOUTH AND COMMUNITY ORGANISATIONS, UNIVERSITIES, THE CULTURAL AND CREATIVE SECTOR AND OTHER AGENCIES WHICH SHARE OUR AIMS.	Throughout England		Charitable spending-        £ 1.14m
1099215 - GMAC DEVELOPMENT TRUST LIMITED	THE TRUST WAS FORMED TO PROMOTE , MAINTAIN, IMPROVE AND ADVANCE THE EDUCATION OF THE PUBLIC IN THE ART OF DRAMA AND THE OTHER ARTS BY ENCOURAGING AND FOSTERING THE STUDY, PERFORMANCE, UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATION OF DRAMA PRODUCTIONS AND EDUCATIONAL WORKSHOPS DEVISED BY THE LIBRARY THEATRE COMPANY AND ITS PARTNERS.	Throughout England		During the year 2012 £46,750 was donated to various charities
1053259 -  MERIDIAN THEATRE COMPANY	MERIDIAN GIVES GRANTS TO OTHER THEATRE COMPANIES AND ARTS ORGANISATIONS TO HELP PROMOTE LIVE THEATRE PRODUCTION	Throughout England		Not available
1155477 -  EYRE FAMILY FOUNDATION	THE ADVANCEMENT OF EDUCATION, ARTS, CULTURE AND HERITAGE IN ENGLAND, FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND MANKIND. THE OBJECTS WILL BE ACHIEVED BY MAKING GRANTS TO INDIVIDUALS AND ORGANISATIONS, TO SPONSOR OR SUPPORT RESEARCH AND PROVIDE FUNDS FOR PUBLICATIONS AND EXHIBITIONS.	Throughout England	Classification- What • EDUCATION / TRAINING • ARTS / CULTURE / HERITAGE / SCIENCE   Who • OTHER CHARITIES OR VOLUNTARY BODIES • THE GENERAL PUBLIC / MANKIND How • MAKES GRANTS TO INDIVIDUALS • MAKES GRANTS TO ORGANISATIONS  • SPONSORS OR UNDERTAKES RESEARCH	Not available
The Paul Hamlyn foundation	The Arts programme supports the development and dissemination of new ideas to increase people's experience, enjoyment and involvement in the arts in the UK. Our funding benefits organisations and groups through our Open Grants and Special Initiatives. Our Open Grants scheme receives applications from organisations proposing innovative activities that we think will have a valuable impact for individuals and communities, organisations, and policy and practice. We work closely with applicants to develop high-quality proposals for consideration by the Arts Committee and Board of Trustees.	UK only		Not available
Fenton Arts Trust	to support final year or postgraduate students through the award of scholarships or bursaries to provide grants which will support or reward work or performance by individuals early in their careers to provide grants for institutions or organisations that share these aims	UK		Not available
Mackintosh foundation	Awards scholarships to promote and develop theatre and the performing arts.	Not available- based in London so assumedly the UK		Not available

Research - Effects of suicide on others

I know this is quite depressing to read but I think this will help us to understand the feelings and emotions that come as a result of suicide- or at least help us to create the atmosphere. the stories are of people who have witnessed or feel responsible for their husbands/fiancés suicide :( the bold bits are the things I thought were most relevant or important!

 

 

Posted 22 January 2014 - 12:25 PM
My husband shot himself sept. 28, 2013 and it is my fault. He should have shot me too as the pain, guilt, shame and loss is too unbearable. He was dealing with my alcoholism for the past 4 years. I was dr. jekyl/mr. hide. He loved me and tried to help best he could. He gave me a wonderful life, a beautiful home, amazing Pug but for some reason I could not break my addiction. We eventually broke up for 5 months and I moved back in May of 2013 only to find him depressed. We tried to work things out but, I could not let go of the women he had while we were split even though he was willing to forgive me for my problem in the past. I started drinking again and would nag him constantly while he was depressed, feeling guilty for not helping me more and how he threw me out. We had to put our Pug down just 2 months before my hubby passed. He needed me, he was scared about the meds he was taking, a personal issue that terrified him, he did not feel well, not sleeping BUT my selfish, self centered, disgusting self nagged him the day he shot himself. We had an arguement the day he did it. I drove him to the ground. He should be here not me. I should have shot myself, and I do still have the feeling and want to die. He was a great man loved by many, extremely successful, kind, loving. I deserve every shitty feeling, pain and thing that comes my way. I disgust myself for all he did was love me. People tell me it was the meds, depression ... no. It was me and I will never forgive myself for doing that to him. He did not deserve that. Someone told me he loved me too much. They're right.  I should have stayed away. He would still be here. I pray he is with God, our Pug and his dad.

Hi Leyla,
I lost my darling Joe to an intention overdose on Christmas night. We had a fight. I didn't answer his texts or phone calls. Your story and mine are so similar.

I loved him more than I've loved any man. He was so unique, I'll never find another man like him. So I'm pretty certain I'll be alone the rest of my life (I'm 57).

I am a dichotomy of emotions — so pissed at him, I can hardly see straight, yet I miss him so much that he seems to be with me throughout every day and night. I'd give anything — anything — to have him back. We were planning to marry last month or perhaps this month, May. At least, sometime in the spring or early summer.

I've been through a variety of hells in my life, but never anything like this. I can't imagine every being content again; there will always be a hole in me, like my shadow has fled me or like I have no reflection in the mirror.

--Stargazer2011

Posted 13 March 2013 - 02:05 AM
HI,
I can so relate to what has happened to you.My fiance commited suicide in front of me on the 4th Jan 2013.He left behind me and our beautiful 4 month old son.I cry everyday.Its hard to find people to talk to who understand.I go through blame,anger etc all the emotions get flooded at me all at once.He had a mental illness but would not except he had it.I miss him every minute of everyday.I dont blame him,i blame me for not being able to help him.I go through the what ifs over and over.

Hi Lela,

My boyfriend of five years (rounding up) killed himself three months ago and I still have not stopped crying since. I think I would have set a world record for the longest cry, and it doesn't seem to be nearing an end either.

You're post is the first thing I've read on "surviving" that I have been able to find that I can relate to. I, like yourself, was horrible to my partner during a fight. I was angry over a recurring argument we'd had for a year, indignant, cold, and stubborn, said awful things to him. He was finally willing to compromise on this recurring issue, and by then I was just angry and stubborn and unaccepting. That night was followed by two nights of him being in tears (I only knew this when his mother later told me) and subsequently taking leave from work to go out of town to recover for next two weeks. I knew he had been suffering greatly having unsuccessfully come off of anti-depressants and was having a severe reaction including frequent panic attacks. Yet, I still was unrelenting and unforgiving. After he left I never saw him again.

The night before he died I spoke to him on the phone and he said, "I wish I could just hold you and watch a movie with you." I said, "yeah, well, we can talk about it once you've stabilised." Those were the last words I ever spoke to him. He was like a hurt child, and I was/am a rotten, insensitive, selfish, and awful human being.

I barely have the will to live anymore. I miss him so unbearably. I am so ashamed and guilty that it makes me sick. I don't think I deserve to live after how I treated him. The only thing that keeps me alive is that I have an ill family member that has no one else in the world to look after but me.

All I want, all I could wish for in the world now would be to just hold him and curl up and watch a movie with him.

I am writing you to find out if after over a year later you have found any way to cope with these feelings of shame and guilt, if time or what has helped you if anything, or if it's gotten worse? How are you now?

I hope for your sake and my own that there is some way out.

I lost my fiance about a month ago. Actually I can tell you the exact date, time, etc, but it doesn't really matter. I feel like the minutes, seconds, and hours take an eternity to pass, but the days seem to have passed so fast. The whole situation is like two opposing feelings and thoughts and realities competing with each other. We had been together for 8 years, living together for all but a few months during that time. It was amazing. Well almost 8 years. We were just shy of our 8th anniversary, but what the hell, I'm rounding up. The shitty thing is, we ended it with a fight. An argument that felt no different than any other argument. I thought nothing of it. It had been so long since he talked about his feelings. In fact he rarely talked about his feelings. I always had to beg it out of him. I figured we were engaged, we had a fantastic time over the holidays, we were planning on buying a house, everything was going well. I was so complacent. And now, now, I feel this infinite guilt. He texted me that night after the argument, I love you, I'm so sorry. What did I do? I sat on my ass, feeling stubborn as hell. I wasn't going to give in that easily. What the hell did I have to say sorry for? Yup, that's right. I just sat there feeling self righteous while he was tormented. And now, he's gone. Would a simple, I love you, have killed me to text? I know I didn't physically do it, but I feel so responsible for his death. When I should have been holding his hand and making sure he was okay, I just ignored him. When he needed me the most, I just sat on my ass and did nothing. His letter stated he was tired of the arguments, the never ending cycle of him making "mistakes" and then me fighting over them. I am so, so sad that he felt this way. I feel horrible and ashamed of what I did the last night we were together. I just sat there feeling indignant. And there he was, making his final plans, thinking I didn't love him, that this was the only "out" he had. What I would give just to say, you know what I'm so mad at you right now, but I love you. We had said that so many times before. Why hadn't I done it this time? There are so many thoughts, memories, going through my head. I knew he had suicidal thoughts and yet I treated him so poorly. I could have been a better girlfriend and fiancé. Just a better person. But I didn't. I am stubborn, a nag, never impressed, never satisfied, over all I'm a horrible human being. And now he's dead because I couldn't muster an apology or accept one. He's gone and will never know what it feels like to be happy. He'll never see his family again, he'll never take an evening stroll, he'll never grow old.

And here I am. Ashamed, embarrassed, and selfish, seeking some sort of help to get through this. How do you get through knowing that you didn't help someone, someone you loved, get through their terrible time?

Researching 'Guilt'

Guilt is your worst enemy, because it is a false accusation.

Why do suicide survivors tend to blame themselves? Psychiatrists theorize that human nature subconsciously resists so strongly the idea that we cannot control all the events of our lives that we would rather fault ourselves for a tragic occurrence than accept our inability to prevent it. Simply put, we don’t like admitting to ourselves that we’re only human, so we blame ourselves instead.

One of the most unusual aspects of survivor guilt is that it is usually a solo trip – each survivor tends to blame primarily themselves. Try asking another person who is also mourning your lost loved one about any guilt feelings that are haunting them.

The simple truth of the matter is that only one person is responsible for any suicide: the victim. But that’s a tough pill to swallow, so instead of ascribing responsibility to our suffering loved one, we nobly sacrifice by taking it on ourselves. It’s understandable to feel such love and empathy toward the person we lost that we are loathe to place blame on them.

The key lies in understanding the difference between blame and responsibility. Blame is accusatory and judgmental, but assigning responsibility need only be a simple acknowledgment of fact. It’s unclear how much control, if any, suicide victims have over their actions. And if clinical depression is at the root, then we could easily think of suicides as victims of disease, just like cancer victims. This is why a person who dies by suicide doesn't deserve blame. However, on some level, there was a conscious choice made by that person, even if it was made with a clouded mind. So the responsibility does lie with them. Acknowledging this simple fact does not mean that you did not love them, nor does it mean that you are holding them in contempt. It means that you are looking at a tragic event clearly and accepting it for what it is.

Guilt is anger turned inwards. Suicide produces many painful and confusing emotions in survivors, one of which is frustration at being so violently cut off from the victim – from the chance to help them, talk with them, or even simply to say goodbye. This frustration produces anger, and when we turn this anger upon ourselves, the result is guilt. Guilt can also come from an unfounded assumption that others are silently blaming us.

Both parents and spouses express fear that the world at large will brand them as failures in their respective roles because of the suicide. While some small‐minded people may think or even speak such accusations, most will not, so don’t project negative thoughts onto others by judging yourself for them.

Parents of children who die by suicide often battle an added type of guilt. Even if they do not blame themselves for not directly intervening in the suicidal act, they often feel guilt over some perceived mistake in raising their children. “Where did I go wrong?” “I pushed them too hard.” and “If we hadn't gotten divorced…” are just a few on the list of self‐recriminations. But parents need to remind themselves that, while they have great influence over their children’s lives, they do not personally create every aspect of their children’s being, as a sculptor carves a statue. From their earliest years, children are shaped by an assortment of outside influences beyond the control of parents. Even children and teenagers have to bear responsibility for their actions.

Spouses also tend to feel acutely guilty for a suicide. The natural partnership that comprises marriage implies a mutual responsibility to look after each other. But spouses need to realize that the root causes of suicide – notably clinical depression – are beyond the control of even the most devoted husband or wife and that even mental health professionals often fail to detect the warning signs of suicide.

Moving forward with your life brings its own dose of guilt. Whether it’s returning to the simple routine of daily subsistence or embarking on new journeys in life, survivors often feel as if this is some affront to the person we've lost. “How can I live knowing they’re not here?” your mind may taunt you. Your strength lies in knowing that, while your lost loved one has chosen death, you have chosen life – and life is a gift that we honor by living.

* Excerpted from A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide, by Jeffrey Jackson, 2004©. Published by American Association of Suicidology. Dedicated to the life of immeasurable value that was lived by Gail Beth Levine Jackson

“The heart is the only broken instrument that works.” - T.E Kalem

Quotes about Guilt

·     These quotes may be useful for when considering the different emotional states of Claudio. Considering our current plot, we have agreed that Claudio will be experiencing guilt- as he is the cause of Hero's suicide. He was the motivation and was also present when it took place, yet there was nothing he could have done to stop her. Particularly the emotive language within these quotes, such as 'crush', 'suffer', and 'pain' could be used when trying to relate or portray the character of Claudio- using these as a guide to how he's feeling or the effect Hero's presence has upon him. 

          1)  Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.

·       2) Guilt is rooted in actions of the past, perpetuated in the lack of action in present, and delivered in the future as pain and suffering

·       3)  A guilty conscience needs no accuser

·       4)   It has always seemed that a fear of judgement is the mark of guilt and the burden of insecurity

·       5) Saying sorry doesn't mean there isn't guilt and forgiving doesn't mean the pain is gone

·       6)  There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience – it supersedes all other courts

·       7)  Guilt- the gift that keeps on giving

·       8) Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt